CALL Jonathan Ross.
It is the ongoing matter of UK celebrities versus Heather Mills. And the court summons Jonathan Ross to the dock at the Q Awards.
Before a room of her peers, Ross announced: “Heather Mills McCartney – what a f***ing liar. I wouldn’t be surprised if we found she’s actually got two legs”... more on Anorak
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Prince William Loses It
MORE Royal news now as we learn that Prince William has lost his gun.
“Wills loses a machine gun,” says the Mail’s front page. And in case you happen along the lost firearm, the Mail produces a shot of William holding a gun believed to very much like the one he has lost. It is an L86 Light Support Weapon. It can fire 775 rounds a minute.
Many a brave and gallant soldier has lost a firearm in the white heat of battle. But we are more than little concerned to learn that Wills lost his gun “during firing practice”.
In an instant our mind transports us to the Royal Military Academy near Camberley, Surrey. We see the ranks of soldiers lined up to lay waste to the enemy. “Fire!” comes the order. “Bang!” screams William. Or “bang-bang-bang-bang etc”, what with his being a machine gun.
Of course, Wills may be lampooning more on Anorak
“Wills loses a machine gun,” says the Mail’s front page. And in case you happen along the lost firearm, the Mail produces a shot of William holding a gun believed to very much like the one he has lost. It is an L86 Light Support Weapon. It can fire 775 rounds a minute.
Many a brave and gallant soldier has lost a firearm in the white heat of battle. But we are more than little concerned to learn that Wills lost his gun “during firing practice”.
In an instant our mind transports us to the Royal Military Academy near Camberley, Surrey. We see the ranks of soldiers lined up to lay waste to the enemy. “Fire!” comes the order. “Bang!” screams William. Or “bang-bang-bang-bang etc”, what with his being a machine gun.
Of course, Wills may be lampooning more on Anorak
Monday, October 30, 2006
Wings & A Prayer
JOHN Lennon has yet to comment. And George Harrison does not wish to take sides. But Linda McCartney is back, and she’s setting out to prove that Heather Mills is a liar.
The Sun, no fan of Lady “Mucca”, says Heather Mills’ “far-fetched claims” that Paul McCartney hit his late wife Linda are “rebutted – in the words of Linda herself”.
Dim the lights. Form a circle. Hold hands. And listen up as Linda wades into the debate.
“Paul’s biggest fault is that he is so sensitive to criticism,” says Linda, perhaps adding a ghostly whoooooo! (It is Halloween).
“It never ceases to amaze me... When Paul dies, the critics will praise him to the heights. Until then, they will ... more on Anorak
The Sun, no fan of Lady “Mucca”, says Heather Mills’ “far-fetched claims” that Paul McCartney hit his late wife Linda are “rebutted – in the words of Linda herself”.
Dim the lights. Form a circle. Hold hands. And listen up as Linda wades into the debate.
“Paul’s biggest fault is that he is so sensitive to criticism,” says Linda, perhaps adding a ghostly whoooooo! (It is Halloween).
“It never ceases to amaze me... When Paul dies, the critics will praise him to the heights. Until then, they will ... more on Anorak
Sunday, October 29, 2006
The Tabloid Week
WHEN Richard Hammond attempted to drive from Elvington airfield, near York, to Australia the hard way, the papers looked on with furrowed brows.
Would Richard make it? Would Top Gear, the TV show he presents, be cancelled? Would he add his name to the list of celebrities to have died on camera – Tommy Copper, Steve Irwin, Anthea Turner?
Well, now the questions get answered. And while the Sun talked of Hammond’s new £2million contract with the BBC, his short-term memory loss and how he said the show must go on, the Mirror led its news coverage with “The day I died.”
Hammond’s was a slow near-death experience. It went on for pages. The presenter who had put his life on the line for the noble cause of good telly was in danger of rambling.
Hours past. Then days. Monday turned into Tuesday. And Tuesday brought front-page news of “THE WIFE’S STORY”. Mindy Hammond was filing in the blanks.
Together the Hammonds were taking up a large chunk of the Mirror’s news coverage.
The story of the phantom “poo pest” was easy to miss. A man was wanted in connection with £60,000 worth of damage to trains.
“His modus operandi is to wait until he is alone before defecating in the carriage and smearing seats and walls,” said the paper.
Who was he? The new enfant terrible of the British art scene, taking over from ... more on Anorak
Would Richard make it? Would Top Gear, the TV show he presents, be cancelled? Would he add his name to the list of celebrities to have died on camera – Tommy Copper, Steve Irwin, Anthea Turner?
Well, now the questions get answered. And while the Sun talked of Hammond’s new £2million contract with the BBC, his short-term memory loss and how he said the show must go on, the Mirror led its news coverage with “The day I died.”
Hammond’s was a slow near-death experience. It went on for pages. The presenter who had put his life on the line for the noble cause of good telly was in danger of rambling.
Hours past. Then days. Monday turned into Tuesday. And Tuesday brought front-page news of “THE WIFE’S STORY”. Mindy Hammond was filing in the blanks.
Together the Hammonds were taking up a large chunk of the Mirror’s news coverage.
The story of the phantom “poo pest” was easy to miss. A man was wanted in connection with £60,000 worth of damage to trains.
“His modus operandi is to wait until he is alone before defecating in the carriage and smearing seats and walls,” said the paper.
Who was he? The new enfant terrible of the British art scene, taking over from ... more on Anorak
Friday, October 27, 2006
FORGET Paul McCartney versus Heather Mills. If you want to see a marriage really implode, you have to travel back to the time of Henry VIII, or to modern day America.
In what it claims as an exclusive, the Sun takes a look at the divorce of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Bach.
The case against The Hoff can be summed up in the Sun’s teaser: “Star ‘beat wife, gave her herpes and peed his pants.”
We have no shots of this alleged wife beating and herpes, but the Sun does reproduce that picture from last July of Hasselhoff waiting for a flight with a noticeable wet path on the crotch of his jeans.
At the time we believed this wetness had been caused by The Hoff pulling his jeans over his wet swimming trucks. We even advised that in future Hasselhoff may care to wear his trunks on the outside of his trousers in a manner more befitting his status. But now we open our minds to a new more on Anorak
In what it claims as an exclusive, the Sun takes a look at the divorce of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Bach.
The case against The Hoff can be summed up in the Sun’s teaser: “Star ‘beat wife, gave her herpes and peed his pants.”
We have no shots of this alleged wife beating and herpes, but the Sun does reproduce that picture from last July of Hasselhoff waiting for a flight with a noticeable wet path on the crotch of his jeans.
At the time we believed this wetness had been caused by The Hoff pulling his jeans over his wet swimming trucks. We even advised that in future Hasselhoff may care to wear his trunks on the outside of his trousers in a manner more befitting his status. But now we open our minds to a new more on Anorak
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Crewel Luck
“THE role of the modern Member of Parliament has changed a great deal in recent years,” says Greg Barker, MP for Bexhill and Battle, on his website.
He goes on to say that “I am also very active locally” and invites locals to “get in touch”.
The sticky fingers of adolescence are never far from UK politics, and, as the Mail reports on its front page, Mr Barker has left his wife of 14 years for a decorator.
Inside the paper, the decorator has been elevated to the status of “interior designer”. Perhaps losing her man to a decorator is too hard for Celeste Barker, Barker’s wife and mother to their three children? An interior designer is much more the ticket. Better still if Celeste could lose Barker to a leading light in the British aubusson movement.
But whatever the profession of the mistress, Celeste, described by one source as “your typical, loyal Conservative wife”, will surely find it hard to accept that she has been left for a man.
“She is completely devastated,” says the source. “It came completely out of the blue. Nobody had any idea that Barker was gay.”
Nobody? We can think of at least two people who had a pretty fair idea that the honourable member had gone the gay way.
And the Mail catches up with one of them, namely more on Anorak
He goes on to say that “I am also very active locally” and invites locals to “get in touch”.
The sticky fingers of adolescence are never far from UK politics, and, as the Mail reports on its front page, Mr Barker has left his wife of 14 years for a decorator.
Inside the paper, the decorator has been elevated to the status of “interior designer”. Perhaps losing her man to a decorator is too hard for Celeste Barker, Barker’s wife and mother to their three children? An interior designer is much more the ticket. Better still if Celeste could lose Barker to a leading light in the British aubusson movement.
But whatever the profession of the mistress, Celeste, described by one source as “your typical, loyal Conservative wife”, will surely find it hard to accept that she has been left for a man.
“She is completely devastated,” says the source. “It came completely out of the blue. Nobody had any idea that Barker was gay.”
Nobody? We can think of at least two people who had a pretty fair idea that the honourable member had gone the gay way.
And the Mail catches up with one of them, namely more on Anorak
Rod Stewart Wallops McCartney
HAVING secured the support of Cilla Black, actor Victor Spinetti and Kate Moss, the Star brings news that other are lining up to stand by Paul McCartney.
“WALLOP HER!” says the headline above the news that Rod Stewart has pinned his tartan colours to Paul’s mast.
Say twice-divorced Rod: “I am sure that Paul is not a wife beater. He may be a drug-taker but is no wife beater.”
Rod goes on: “His name has been slurred [that must be the drugs] and I think he should fight it all the way.”
Rod, spotted in the Sun dressed in a pin-striped suit with matching hat and tartan scarf issues a wake-up call to all but the dead. Now seen in conjunction with his fiancée Penny Lancaster, and her leopard-print coat, McCartney must surely sit up and take notice of Rod.
And if Rod is not enough, there are others. And the Star hears another celebrity state her support for Paul. It’s Billie Piper.
“It’s horrible,” says Billie. “You do start to hate Heather don’t you. It’s awful.”
And truly it is. While Paul can lean... more on Anorak
“WALLOP HER!” says the headline above the news that Rod Stewart has pinned his tartan colours to Paul’s mast.
Say twice-divorced Rod: “I am sure that Paul is not a wife beater. He may be a drug-taker but is no wife beater.”
Rod goes on: “His name has been slurred [that must be the drugs] and I think he should fight it all the way.”
Rod, spotted in the Sun dressed in a pin-striped suit with matching hat and tartan scarf issues a wake-up call to all but the dead. Now seen in conjunction with his fiancée Penny Lancaster, and her leopard-print coat, McCartney must surely sit up and take notice of Rod.
And if Rod is not enough, there are others. And the Star hears another celebrity state her support for Paul. It’s Billie Piper.
“It’s horrible,” says Billie. “You do start to hate Heather don’t you. It’s awful.”
And truly it is. While Paul can lean... more on Anorak
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
TC Go Holmes
“TOM AND KATIE’S SECRET WEDDING,” announces the front page of the Express.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will marry, in secret, on November 18. They will marry in Italy. Although they may marry in Switzerland, the Express noting that the mention of Italy may be a “decoy”.
We could not possibly say. No, we could not. Invitations to the Cruise-Holmes do were dispatched at the weekend, and having sworn by all the powers in the galaxy (so help us L. Ron) we are unable to divulge any details. It is no exaggeration to say that breaking our oath will place humanity in great peril.
But Giorgio Armani is not known as the most fearless designer of his generation for nothing. And he tells the Express: “When I am asked by a friend to make a wedding wardrobe, it goes straight to my heart.” (Like a spaceman’s death-ray.) “It really is an honour to play small role in that milestone moment.”
And joining Giorgio will be Victoria Beckham. The Mirror tells us that Posh has flown to Los Angeles for a “secret meeting” with Katie.
Not that you will hear about it. And you will know nothing of the wedding. As Tom’s spokesman tells the Sun: “Proper security measures are being taken.”
Indeed. They will be watching you...from space... more on Anorak
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will marry, in secret, on November 18. They will marry in Italy. Although they may marry in Switzerland, the Express noting that the mention of Italy may be a “decoy”.
We could not possibly say. No, we could not. Invitations to the Cruise-Holmes do were dispatched at the weekend, and having sworn by all the powers in the galaxy (so help us L. Ron) we are unable to divulge any details. It is no exaggeration to say that breaking our oath will place humanity in great peril.
But Giorgio Armani is not known as the most fearless designer of his generation for nothing. And he tells the Express: “When I am asked by a friend to make a wedding wardrobe, it goes straight to my heart.” (Like a spaceman’s death-ray.) “It really is an honour to play small role in that milestone moment.”
And joining Giorgio will be Victoria Beckham. The Mirror tells us that Posh has flown to Los Angeles for a “secret meeting” with Katie.
Not that you will hear about it. And you will know nothing of the wedding. As Tom’s spokesman tells the Sun: “Proper security measures are being taken.”
Indeed. They will be watching you...from space... more on Anorak
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Rock 'n' Sausage Roll
WHEN Pete Doherty and Kate Moss marry and set up home together, one of their showbiz chums should get them a home therapy centre, accessed by 12 big steps.
In this space, Kate and Pete’s showbiz friends could gather to recover from the excesses of the night before. And, as is the way with therapy, they can keep coming back.
Therapy is no one-hit wonder, and we read in the Star of middle-aged rocker Courtney Love, “who has been in and out ...more on Anorak
In this space, Kate and Pete’s showbiz friends could gather to recover from the excesses of the night before. And, as is the way with therapy, they can keep coming back.
Therapy is no one-hit wonder, and we read in the Star of middle-aged rocker Courtney Love, “who has been in and out ...more on Anorak
Davie Banda - The Oprah
RIGHTLY proud to have got her figure back after having a new child, Madonna is to go on the Oprah Winfrey show to tell all.
Oprah’s sofa has been the stage for much celebrity grandstanding, such as Tom Cruise’s sofa-jump moment, and now Madonna is ready to sit on it and tell the talkshow host about her amazing life with Davie Banda.
With three children by three different fathers living on three different continents, Madonna is every inch the more on anorak
Oprah’s sofa has been the stage for much celebrity grandstanding, such as Tom Cruise’s sofa-jump moment, and now Madonna is ready to sit on it and tell the talkshow host about her amazing life with Davie Banda.
With three children by three different fathers living on three different continents, Madonna is every inch the more on anorak
Wayne's Parade
WAYNE Rooney’s 21st birthday party promises to be quite some thing.
In readiness for the do, the Sun notes that Wayne’s whale-voiced lover Coleen McLoughlin has been out shopping.
“LOOK WHAT I GOT ROO,” says the headline. It’s “Coleen’s megabucks birthday gift spree”. And sure enough there’s a picture of Coleen pulling out all the credit cards to make Wayne’s coming of age a special day.
And the Sun knows what he’s getting. Look away now Wayne as we spot a wall-clock-sized, diamond–encrusted £30,000 Jacobs & Co Watch, a £15,000 golf simulator and a £5,000 Louis Vuitton man-bag with “lots of gold” on it.
And there will be more. After showing us what the gifts look like and telling us all about them, the Sun says, “but nobody knows for sure what her final choices were.”
But the Sun is wrong. And the Star is proud to announce on its front page that is knows exactly what Wayne will receive.
It’s “ROON’S 21 BUM SALUTE – Robbie flashes B-day boy,” announces the paper As the Star says, Coleen has a “star-studded bash” lined up to celebrate Wayne’s birthday, and chief among the guests in Robbie Williams.
And for a “sneak preview of her raunchy surprise” we turn more on Anorak
In readiness for the do, the Sun notes that Wayne’s whale-voiced lover Coleen McLoughlin has been out shopping.
“LOOK WHAT I GOT ROO,” says the headline. It’s “Coleen’s megabucks birthday gift spree”. And sure enough there’s a picture of Coleen pulling out all the credit cards to make Wayne’s coming of age a special day.
And the Sun knows what he’s getting. Look away now Wayne as we spot a wall-clock-sized, diamond–encrusted £30,000 Jacobs & Co Watch, a £15,000 golf simulator and a £5,000 Louis Vuitton man-bag with “lots of gold” on it.
And there will be more. After showing us what the gifts look like and telling us all about them, the Sun says, “but nobody knows for sure what her final choices were.”
But the Sun is wrong. And the Star is proud to announce on its front page that is knows exactly what Wayne will receive.
It’s “ROON’S 21 BUM SALUTE – Robbie flashes B-day boy,” announces the paper As the Star says, Coleen has a “star-studded bash” lined up to celebrate Wayne’s birthday, and chief among the guests in Robbie Williams.
And for a “sneak preview of her raunchy surprise” we turn more on Anorak
Monday, October 23, 2006
Cravats Rule
YOU join us at the haberdashery counter at a major London department store where followers of the Kabbalah movement are demanding their money back.
Clutching their red string and demanding a full cash refund, they move on to the store’s cravat section.
Scientology has arrived in London in a big way and very soon thousands of Britain’s leading celebrities will be sporting cravats in the manner of L Ron, Hubbard, the Church of Scientology’s No. 1 guy.
As the Times reports, the former home of the British and Foreign Bible Society in central London has been converted into the new headquarters of Scientology.
And yesterday the venue opened. Sadly, many of the movement’s leading lights did not attend. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and John Travolta, to name but three believers, were otherwise engaged.
But star spotters who gathered in the rain to see the centre open did get a glimpse of Hollywood actress Anne Archer, who played Michael Douglas's wife in Fatal Attraction. As the Independent says with much knowing, Anne “was raised a Christian Scientist but joined the Church of Scientology in 1976.” The Guardian spots Golden Globe nominee Jenna Elfman.
As the Guardian says, “For two hours yesterday Hollywood glitz supplanted British ... more on Anorak
Clutching their red string and demanding a full cash refund, they move on to the store’s cravat section.
Scientology has arrived in London in a big way and very soon thousands of Britain’s leading celebrities will be sporting cravats in the manner of L Ron, Hubbard, the Church of Scientology’s No. 1 guy.
As the Times reports, the former home of the British and Foreign Bible Society in central London has been converted into the new headquarters of Scientology.
And yesterday the venue opened. Sadly, many of the movement’s leading lights did not attend. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and John Travolta, to name but three believers, were otherwise engaged.
But star spotters who gathered in the rain to see the centre open did get a glimpse of Hollywood actress Anne Archer, who played Michael Douglas's wife in Fatal Attraction. As the Independent says with much knowing, Anne “was raised a Christian Scientist but joined the Church of Scientology in 1976.” The Guardian spots Golden Globe nominee Jenna Elfman.
As the Guardian says, “For two hours yesterday Hollywood glitz supplanted British ... more on Anorak
Knickers To Victoria
THE good news is that David Beckham need not replace his wife’s thong with Anorak’s revolutionary new, and reassuringly airy, Comfi-Pants. As Her Poshness declares on the cover of OK!: “I’M NOT REAY FOR ANOTHER BABY.”
That Posh should then tell the world “WHY THE HAIR EXTENSIONS ARE GOING BACK IN” opens up a new area of rich intrigue.
Not that we should talk openly about it, and we should certainly not illustrate our discussion and debate with pictures of Posh wearing a dress or placing her hair in a bun or draw.
As she tells OK!: “They [the paparazzi] follow us everywhere. We have a security team everywhere we go – school, shopping, McDonald’s... and I don’t like it.”
Indeed, such attention would try even the most temperate of souls. But before we suggest that Posh ditches the team of burly minders, send one of them out to pick up some ... more on Anorak
That Posh should then tell the world “WHY THE HAIR EXTENSIONS ARE GOING BACK IN” opens up a new area of rich intrigue.
Not that we should talk openly about it, and we should certainly not illustrate our discussion and debate with pictures of Posh wearing a dress or placing her hair in a bun or draw.
As she tells OK!: “They [the paparazzi] follow us everywhere. We have a security team everywhere we go – school, shopping, McDonald’s... and I don’t like it.”
Indeed, such attention would try even the most temperate of souls. But before we suggest that Posh ditches the team of burly minders, send one of them out to pick up some ... more on Anorak
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Oliver's pillow was smoothed by gentle hands that night; and loveliness and virtue watched him as he slept - Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
THE week’s news focused on the Dickensian story of the Jew, the orphan and the flight to London Town.
On Monday, Davie Twist’s future was far from certain. Charities and institutions protested at Davie Twist’s removal from Africa. Protests were made.
And in London, Madonna seemed to have hatched a classic plot.
As the Sun reported, Madonna had spent £5,000 on a rocking horse for her would-be new boy. A worker at Harrods, the Knightsbridge store where the horse was sired, told the paper: “The rocking horses are hand made and top spec. They are beautiful, traditional toys.”
The paper produced a picture of what a rocking horse might look like. There was a tail, a mane and ... more on Anorak
THE week’s news focused on the Dickensian story of the Jew, the orphan and the flight to London Town.
On Monday, Davie Twist’s future was far from certain. Charities and institutions protested at Davie Twist’s removal from Africa. Protests were made.
And in London, Madonna seemed to have hatched a classic plot.
As the Sun reported, Madonna had spent £5,000 on a rocking horse for her would-be new boy. A worker at Harrods, the Knightsbridge store where the horse was sired, told the paper: “The rocking horses are hand made and top spec. They are beautiful, traditional toys.”
The paper produced a picture of what a rocking horse might look like. There was a tail, a mane and ... more on Anorak
Tom Tum
TOM Cruise may soon be as wide as he is tall. The Enquirer (“Tom gets FATTER as Katie get FITTER”) says that “TomKat” has mutated into “Tom FAT”.
Where he was once a svelte 170lbs, Tom is now 191lbs. Of course, in the greater scheme of things American, Tom is still considered to be borderline anorexic. But to we Europeans, Tom looks a little portly.
Just get a good eyeful of those man boobs. You can’t miss them – they’re at the end of the Enquirer’s arrow that says “man-boobs!”. And while Tom gets bigger, Katie Holmes, his younger, taller lover, gets... Read more on Anorak
Where he was once a svelte 170lbs, Tom is now 191lbs. Of course, in the greater scheme of things American, Tom is still considered to be borderline anorexic. But to we Europeans, Tom looks a little portly.
Just get a good eyeful of those man boobs. You can’t miss them – they’re at the end of the Enquirer’s arrow that says “man-boobs!”. And while Tom gets bigger, Katie Holmes, his younger, taller lover, gets... Read more on Anorak
Friday, October 20, 2006
Freedom
“GEORGE MICHAEL ON DRUGS,” promises the Mirror’s front page.
And in honour of this “EXCLUSIVE”, the paper bills itself as “A BETTER WEED”, a pun on narcotics, such as those being lit and inhaled by the singer.
Chances are that the Mirror is printed on smoking paper, which can be rolled up and placed between the lips in the manner of a huge Cromwell Carrot. Igniting the rag will unleash a miasma of intoxicating ink and make you forget about wars and so-called serious news.
But for now we read the thing, and thereby learn that George has been on the telly.
And in this interview, to be screened on ITV1, George openly smokes a joint before the cameras. In between drags on the noxious weed, George says: “This stuff... Read more on Anorak
And in honour of this “EXCLUSIVE”, the paper bills itself as “A BETTER WEED”, a pun on narcotics, such as those being lit and inhaled by the singer.
Chances are that the Mirror is printed on smoking paper, which can be rolled up and placed between the lips in the manner of a huge Cromwell Carrot. Igniting the rag will unleash a miasma of intoxicating ink and make you forget about wars and so-called serious news.
But for now we read the thing, and thereby learn that George has been on the telly.
And in this interview, to be screened on ITV1, George openly smokes a joint before the cameras. In between drags on the noxious weed, George says: “This stuff... Read more on Anorak
MORE news of little David Banda now.
With the boy in London Town, the Sun publishes a picture of the first time he and Madonna met.
Beneath a tree in deepest Malawi, crouched above the parched ground, Madonna cradles Davie Twist in her arms.
Liz Rosenberg, Madge’s spokeswoman, explains. “It was... Read more on Anorak
With the boy in London Town, the Sun publishes a picture of the first time he and Madonna met.
Beneath a tree in deepest Malawi, crouched above the parched ground, Madonna cradles Davie Twist in her arms.
Liz Rosenberg, Madge’s spokeswoman, explains. “It was... Read more on Anorak
“BECKHAMS’ minder killed in Iraq blast,” announces the Sun’s front page.
And there is a picture of Merrick McDonald, 42, sat in the front of a car with Posh ‘n’ Becks in the rear.
And instantly we ask: what are Posh ‘n’ Beck doing in Iraq? We understand their desire to construct a truly world brand but Iraq is not yet ready for 00-sized designer jeans and hair gel.
The answer is soon forthcoming. It turns out that at the... Read more on Anorak
And there is a picture of Merrick McDonald, 42, sat in the front of a car with Posh ‘n’ Becks in the rear.
And instantly we ask: what are Posh ‘n’ Beck doing in Iraq? We understand their desire to construct a truly world brand but Iraq is not yet ready for 00-sized designer jeans and hair gel.
The answer is soon forthcoming. It turns out that at the... Read more on Anorak
Madonna's Twist
MADONNA is back in London Town with her new child. And all is well in the land of Dickens. Hear ye! Hear ye!
And if little Davie Twist is reading Anorak – as surely he must be – we say consider yourself at home, young rapscallion, consider yourself one of the family, we’ve taken to you so strong, it’s clear we’re going to get along...” Read more on Anorak...
The McCartney Witch Hunt
“MACCA: NOW IT’S GETTING REALLY DIRTY,” announces the Mail’s front page.
And we applaud the Mail’s brave decision to publish more shots from Die Freuden der Liebe (The Lover’s Guide), Lady Heather Mills McCartney’s seminal work with body oil and a curly-haired German male.
But the lead picture of Heather sat in a chair, an inch or so of cleavage on display, is all we get. It’s a shot taken from Heather’s appearance on BBC TV’s City Hospital, a daytime show in which people circling the plughole of life can see nurses dressing bed sores.
And yesterday the viewers saw Heather, who, as the Mail tells us, was “discussing, among other things, pain management”. And Heather knows pain. As the Mail reported yesterday, and the Sun reiterates today (in a front-page “EXCLUSIVE”), Heather claims Paul stabbed her, took drugs and told her that her breasts were his.
The paper produces a picture of Heather and circles a “wound” on her arm, the injury thought to have been caused by the alleged stabbing with a broken ...more
And we applaud the Mail’s brave decision to publish more shots from Die Freuden der Liebe (The Lover’s Guide), Lady Heather Mills McCartney’s seminal work with body oil and a curly-haired German male.
But the lead picture of Heather sat in a chair, an inch or so of cleavage on display, is all we get. It’s a shot taken from Heather’s appearance on BBC TV’s City Hospital, a daytime show in which people circling the plughole of life can see nurses dressing bed sores.
And yesterday the viewers saw Heather, who, as the Mail tells us, was “discussing, among other things, pain management”. And Heather knows pain. As the Mail reported yesterday, and the Sun reiterates today (in a front-page “EXCLUSIVE”), Heather claims Paul stabbed her, took drugs and told her that her breasts were his.
The paper produces a picture of Heather and circles a “wound” on her arm, the injury thought to have been caused by the alleged stabbing with a broken ...more
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