Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan has, reportedly, been barred from performing at a charity fundraising event because her image is not in keeping with the tone of the thing.
Organisers of Operation Holiday Spirit 2006, a campaign to bring seasonal cheer and gifts to US soldiers, are said to have been concerned that Lohan would deter other celebs from taking part.
www.anorak.co.uk
Friday, November 10, 2006
Simon Cowell Is Pop's Fagin
IS SIMON Cowell pop music’s Fagin?
OK!’s picture of the celebrity maker shows him being pampered by six little boys and girls.
Collectively the gang are known as Angelis. They are Simon’s little Angelis, bringing him a platter of fruit, his phones and a pot of tea.
OK! says Cowell is not really the “bad boy” of the music industry. For starters, he is well into his forties. The only boy in showbusiness still working at that age and beyond is little Jimmy Krankie, and on closer inspection he turns out to be a geriatric girl.
You see, Simon is not a breaker of wannabes’ hearts. No, he is not. Simon is the “cuddly bear” who has set out to make household names of Moray West, 11, Amy Dow, 11, Joe ...Read on at Anorak
OK!’s picture of the celebrity maker shows him being pampered by six little boys and girls.
Collectively the gang are known as Angelis. They are Simon’s little Angelis, bringing him a platter of fruit, his phones and a pot of tea.
OK! says Cowell is not really the “bad boy” of the music industry. For starters, he is well into his forties. The only boy in showbusiness still working at that age and beyond is little Jimmy Krankie, and on closer inspection he turns out to be a geriatric girl.
You see, Simon is not a breaker of wannabes’ hearts. No, he is not. Simon is the “cuddly bear” who has set out to make household names of Moray West, 11, Amy Dow, 11, Joe ...Read on at Anorak
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Paul Gascoigne Attacks
PHEW! Jade Goody has been given the all clear.
It is good of the Sun not to keep us in the dark. And one day on from hearing that lovable Jade punched a grandma in the face, the Sun tells us that she is dong fine.
“Fighting fit” Jade Goody has been given the all-clear from bowel- cancer.
As reported in these pages, Jade was having tummy troubles. And while many feared a rogue kebab had done its damnedest, there was talk of something even worse.
Jade went in for “a barrage” of tests at Princess Alexandra Hospital in Harlow, Essex.
Jade was worried. What could be wrong? Did Jade’s troubled mind cause her to lash out at the Edmonton Odeon, the scene of her granny bashing? Can too much curry sauce be bad for belly and brain?
We waited. We fretted. We paced... More on Anorak
It is good of the Sun not to keep us in the dark. And one day on from hearing that lovable Jade punched a grandma in the face, the Sun tells us that she is dong fine.
“Fighting fit” Jade Goody has been given the all-clear from bowel- cancer.
As reported in these pages, Jade was having tummy troubles. And while many feared a rogue kebab had done its damnedest, there was talk of something even worse.
Jade went in for “a barrage” of tests at Princess Alexandra Hospital in Harlow, Essex.
Jade was worried. What could be wrong? Did Jade’s troubled mind cause her to lash out at the Edmonton Odeon, the scene of her granny bashing? Can too much curry sauce be bad for belly and brain?
We waited. We fretted. We paced... More on Anorak
REMEMBER when Paul Gascoigne was the cheeky, emotional Geordie who would deliver the World Cup to English hands?
If you can’t recall Gazza in his pomp, then looking at the Star’s cover photo of the pasty former footballer in the company of the local constabulary will not help your memory.
“BOOZY GAZZA’S RACIST BRAWL,” announces the Star’s front page. “Stars nicked after 4am row with ‘black #@*!’ snapper.
It seems that we are not the only ones unable to understand a word that tumbles from mumbling Gazza’s mouth. But looking within the paper we learn that rather than uttering a series of hash marks, asterisks and exclamations, Gazza was heard to call a cameraman a “black c****”. He is then said to have struck another cameraman (identified in the Sun as one Stephen Walters) in a “drunken rage”.
And so to the scene of this latest incident in Gazza’s chequered career. The venue is Boujis nightclub, hangout for royal princes, socialites and chinless wonders.
Gazza stumbles out. It is 3.30am. He, allegedly, punches ... More on Anorak
If you can’t recall Gazza in his pomp, then looking at the Star’s cover photo of the pasty former footballer in the company of the local constabulary will not help your memory.
“BOOZY GAZZA’S RACIST BRAWL,” announces the Star’s front page. “Stars nicked after 4am row with ‘black #@*!’ snapper.
It seems that we are not the only ones unable to understand a word that tumbles from mumbling Gazza’s mouth. But looking within the paper we learn that rather than uttering a series of hash marks, asterisks and exclamations, Gazza was heard to call a cameraman a “black c****”. He is then said to have struck another cameraman (identified in the Sun as one Stephen Walters) in a “drunken rage”.
And so to the scene of this latest incident in Gazza’s chequered career. The venue is Boujis nightclub, hangout for royal princes, socialites and chinless wonders.
Gazza stumbles out. It is 3.30am. He, allegedly, punches ... More on Anorak
Britney Falls Out
“BRITNEY’S doomed love,” says the Sun.
Britney Spears, for it is she, has filed for divorce from the man known to her as Kevin Federline and as K-Ferret to you, the greater rap music community.
Over eight pictures, readers see Britney and K-Ferret eating burgers, buried in sand, cuddling and pushing a buggy. There’s Britney sat astride her man. There’s Britney rubbing her man’s shorts and sticking her tongue out. There’s Britney looking miserable. There’s Kevin in a vest.
Of course, this is not Britney’s first doomed love. And the Sun recalls the name Jason Alexander, Britney’s husband of 55 hours, and tells us about “A TALE OF TWO WEDDINGS”.
It was the best of dos, it was the worst of dos, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, it was the epoch of hits, it was the age of flops - respectively. It was Britney’s marriage to Jason, it was Britney’s marriage to Kevin.
It was a time of annulment, it was a time to a text message. Yes, as the Mirror reports, Britney dumped husband No. 2 by text.
The Mirror sees Kev talking about his new album. He is being filmed for Canadian TV. His mobile... More on Anorak
Britney Spears, for it is she, has filed for divorce from the man known to her as Kevin Federline and as K-Ferret to you, the greater rap music community.
Over eight pictures, readers see Britney and K-Ferret eating burgers, buried in sand, cuddling and pushing a buggy. There’s Britney sat astride her man. There’s Britney rubbing her man’s shorts and sticking her tongue out. There’s Britney looking miserable. There’s Kevin in a vest.
Of course, this is not Britney’s first doomed love. And the Sun recalls the name Jason Alexander, Britney’s husband of 55 hours, and tells us about “A TALE OF TWO WEDDINGS”.
It was the best of dos, it was the worst of dos, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, it was the epoch of hits, it was the age of flops - respectively. It was Britney’s marriage to Jason, it was Britney’s marriage to Kevin.
It was a time of annulment, it was a time to a text message. Yes, as the Mirror reports, Britney dumped husband No. 2 by text.
The Mirror sees Kev talking about his new album. He is being filmed for Canadian TV. His mobile... More on Anorak
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Michael Jackson's Back
GRAB your crotch and squeal like a girl, it’s Michael Jackson.
The Sun says that “pop weirdo” Jacko has agreed to appear at something called The World Music Awards.
Like you, we have no idea what these awards represent, but we do know that Jackson has agreed to perform at them. And we also know that the show is to be staged in London’s Earl’s Court next week.
This means that Jackson will be placing his feet on our pure British soil. “BEAT IT, JACKO,” says the Sun. We don’t want your sort here. We run a clean house.
But Jackson is not listening. And neither are the event organisers who will present the singer with the Choppard Diamond Award for the artist who has sold more than 100million records.
It thus appears that the World Music Awards is an AGM for global music sellers. And after Jackson receives his bonus for exceeding the group’s sales target, perhaps Phil Collins will he handed a gold clock and Elton John given an award for equal opportunities and best funeral music.
But for now all eyes are on Jackson, making his first public performance since... More on Anorak
The Sun says that “pop weirdo” Jacko has agreed to appear at something called The World Music Awards.
Like you, we have no idea what these awards represent, but we do know that Jackson has agreed to perform at them. And we also know that the show is to be staged in London’s Earl’s Court next week.
This means that Jackson will be placing his feet on our pure British soil. “BEAT IT, JACKO,” says the Sun. We don’t want your sort here. We run a clean house.
But Jackson is not listening. And neither are the event organisers who will present the singer with the Choppard Diamond Award for the artist who has sold more than 100million records.
It thus appears that the World Music Awards is an AGM for global music sellers. And after Jackson receives his bonus for exceeding the group’s sales target, perhaps Phil Collins will he handed a gold clock and Elton John given an award for equal opportunities and best funeral music.
But for now all eyes are on Jackson, making his first public performance since... More on Anorak
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Madonna's Gaps
THERE are only a few things we do not know about Madonna.
And if she would be so good as to tell us a) the number of hairs on her head, b) whether she brushes her teeth at the top first or the bottom, and c) the state of her father’s health, we will be able to complete the pop chameleon’s jigsaw.
And already the Sun is on the case. And we read that Madonna is to meet her sick dad. He’s being treated for cancer. More precisely, Tony Ciccone has been receiving chemotherapy after surgery for colon cancer. He’s staying at the Leelanau County Hospital in Michigan, close to his home.
A source tells the paper that Tony is responding well to treatment. “But,” notes the Sun’s showbiz and medical expert, “clearly, this is a...More on Anorak
And if she would be so good as to tell us a) the number of hairs on her head, b) whether she brushes her teeth at the top first or the bottom, and c) the state of her father’s health, we will be able to complete the pop chameleon’s jigsaw.
And already the Sun is on the case. And we read that Madonna is to meet her sick dad. He’s being treated for cancer. More precisely, Tony Ciccone has been receiving chemotherapy after surgery for colon cancer. He’s staying at the Leelanau County Hospital in Michigan, close to his home.
A source tells the paper that Tony is responding well to treatment. “But,” notes the Sun’s showbiz and medical expert, “clearly, this is a...More on Anorak
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